Shame is not guilt. Guilt says, “I did something wrong.” Shame says, “I am something wrong.” High-performing adults rarely use the word shame. They use words like: “I should have known better.” “Well that was embarrassing.” “I can’t believe I missed that.” "I totally spaced this out." “This isn’t like me.” Shame thrives in environments where excellence is expected and mistakes feel very costly. On the wheel of emotion , shame sits close to fear and sadness. But it often sho